Haley's Hangdog Holiday Read online

  “Haley? I’m so excited to see you again.” Noelle stood in the waiting room door, with an ear-to-ear grin. Though it was difficult to judge with her lab coat on, she appeared to be pregnant. Haley knew better than to ask.

  “I’ve missed seeing you.” Haley gave Noelle a hug as she handed over her clipboard with the fateful health history. “I used to love when your dad cooked hamburgers and you made that yummy fluffy banana pudding.”

  “So much has happened since then.” Noelle held up her left hand and wiggled her ring finger. “I love being married. You’ve met my husband, David Christian, right?”

  “David Christian, the division leader at Holiday, Inc.? I didn’t realize he was your husband! David’s super nice. Congratulations!”

  “Thank you. I think he’s pretty awesome.” She rubbed her rounded belly. “And we’re pregnant. I’m due at the end of March.”

  “I’m so happy for you.” Haley meant it. Though she still mourned the loss of her ovaries, she felt nothing but joy for her friend. Yet she worried Noelle would be even more upset when she read the health history.

  Noelle led Haley to the end of a long hallway and gestured to a hook on the wall. “You can hang your coat up there. It’s so cold today. You know they’re predicting snow tomorrow—just in time for the Christmas party. You’re coming, right?”

  “I am, but I don’t know what I’m going to wear, especially since it’s going to snow. These clunky boots are the only warm shoes I have left. I had several other pairs of nice boots, but my brother’s stupid dog got in the closet and mangled three of them. It seems Bo has a discerning palate—he only likes left boots.”

  “Oh my goodness!” Noelle laughed. “I remember Gavin said you didn’t care much for dogs, right? I guess this only confirms your opinion. What kind of dog is Bo?”

  “Bojangles is a Basset Hound. I’m keeping him for my brother for a year. Bo makes me crazy, but he’s starting to grow on me.”

  “Kind of like a big ugly wart, huh?” said Noelle with a wink.

  “Yeah—just like that.” Haley chuckled, feeling less tense from the light conversation.

  Noel gestured to the dental chair. “Just have a seat here. I’m going to enter your health history into the computer.”

  “Uhmm... about that... You don’t ever tell anyone what you read in a patient’s health history, right?”

  Noelle sat down, rolling her chair next to Haley, a serious look in her blue eyes. “I’m bound by HIPPA and my own professional ethics, Haley. I would never tell anyone what’s in here, but you’re probably worried about nothing. You can’t believe how many people are taking meds for depression or anxiety or some such thing. I don’t think anything about it.”

  “Okay.”

  Noelle confirmed each no element of the history as she entered it in the computer, moving rapidly down the list until she came to the first affirmative answer. Have you ever had major surgery?

  Her eyes were already brimming with tears when she turned them toward Haley, her hand covering her trembling lips. She looked equal parts sad and horrified. “Oh, Haley... your ovaries? What happened?”

  “Keep going—you’ll see it.” Haley aimed for a nonchalant tone, knowing she failed. “I have ovarian cancer.”

  “You’re so young! When did you get cancer?” Blinking rapidly, Noelle scanned further down the page until her jaw dropped open, and Haley knew she’d made the connection.

  With her face shining from tears, Noelle looked at Haley. “This is it, isn’t it? The reason you broke up with Gavin?”

  Haley nodded, tears rolling down her face and dripping from her chin.

  “Oh, Haley!”

  Noelle reached out and hugged her, and they cried together, as Haley grieved her loss all over again.

  “And he doesn’t know?” Noelle pulled away, a look of dismay on her face as she realized Haley had never shared the truth with her brother.

  “I couldn’t tell him, Noelle.”

  “Why not? He loved you, Haley. He would have been right there by your side. And he wouldn’t have cared whether you lost your ovaries or not.”

  Haley nodded, sobbing out loud, while her chest ached. “I know. Don’t you see? That’s exactly why I didn’t tell him. He would’ve stayed with me. He probably would’ve married me. He wanted children, and we wouldn’t have been able to have any.”

  “He wouldn’t care, Haley. Some couples don’t have children. There’s no guarantee, you know.”

  “But I would! I would care that he was never going to be a dad. I would be miserable knowing he sacrificed everything he dreamed of to be with me. I loved him. All I ever wanted was to make him happy.”

  “Are you still in love with him?”

  Haley didn’t respond—her throat was too tight.

  “You have to tell Gavin the truth. You have to.”

  “It would be so selfish, Noelle. I can’t tell him right now. The cancer might be back.”

  Noelle reached out and squeezed her hand. “If you beat it once, you can beat it again.”

  A fresh round of tears started. “Ovarian cancer isn’t like that. If it recurs, I have like no chance of living very long. That’s another reason I can’t tell Gavin.”

  “You’ve got it all wrong, Haley,” said Noelle, holding out a box of tissues to Haley and taking several for herself. “That’s another reason you have to tell Gavin. I can tell you, if I thought David might die, I wouldn’t want to waste a single minute of our time together.”

  “I don’t know.” Haley rubbed her face with the tissue, wondering why on earth she bothered applying mascara on this of all days. She wadded up the black stained tissue and stuck it in her pocket. “Honestly, I’m so scared, I can’t think about anything else. I thought I’d reached a point where my faith was really strong. Where I could trust God without doubting. I remember telling Tad about learning to have God’s peace no matter what else happened. And now...” Haley grabbed another tissue. “Now I think the cancer may be back, and I’m just afraid again. I guess I don’t have any faith.”

  “You know, Haley, I’ve never had cancer, and I’ve never been afraid I might die. I don’t know what faith is supposed to look like when this happens. But I know the Bible tells us over and over again not to be afraid—more than a hundred times. You know what I think that means?”

  “That being afraid is a really big sin and shows a lack of faith?”

  “No, I think it means there are a lot of scary things in life—lots of times when we need God because we’re afraid. Remember when Jesus came walking on the water to the disciples, who were on a boat in the middle of a big storm? And He said, ‘Don’t be afraid. I’m here,’ but the waves were still huge and crashing around them. And then Peter stepped right into the middle of the big waves and walked out to Jesus, but as soon as he took his eyes off of Jesus and looked at the scary waves, he started sinking.”

  Picturing the scene sent a shudder down Haley’s spine. “Being out on the water in the middle of a huge storm, expecting the next wave to turn your boat over—that’s pretty much what I feel like right now. So what does that mean for me? I don’t have nearly as much faith as Peter.”

  “It means keep looking at Jesus, no matter what’s going on around you. And when you start to sink, call out to Him. He has the power to make the storm go away, but He also has the power to hold you up in the middle of it.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  “Are you sure you don’t want a ride to Dad’s house?” asked Gavin. “I’m leaving now, and I could swing by and pick you up. It’s supposed to be snowing by the time the party’s over.”

  The cell phone slipped from Haley’s shoulder where she was holding it against her head. “Oops!” She snatched it from the ground, brushing the snow off. “You go on. I’m not even ready yet. Bo’s being belligerent tonight.”

  “Big surprise.”

  “I know, right? He won’t go to the bathroom, and I’ve tried to tell him he’s going to be in his kenne
l the rest of the evening. But he won’t listen.”

  “If only there was some way to bribe him to do it using food.”

  “Yes, he would pee on demand for food, that’s for sure. But currently, he’s sitting inside the warm house and I’m outside in the snow trying to pull him out the door. I can’t be certain, but I think he’s laughing at me.”

  “Ha! Okay, if you’re sure you’ll be okay. Honestly, if the weather gets really bad, you could leave your car at Dad’s and I could drive you home.”

  Maybe... maybe not. If I follow Noelle’s advice and tell you about the cancer and how I hid it from you, I bet you won’t feel like driving me anywhere, except maybe to the Royal Gorge so you can push me off the bridge.

  By the end of their hour-long appointment, Noelle had almost convinced Haley she needed to tell Gavin the truth about everything. Almost, but not quite. Haley didn’t regret confessing everything to Noelle—not at all. Noelle talked and cried and prayed with her, speaking words of wisdom she was hungry for.

  I wish I would’ve talked to her two years ago instead of listening to Mom.

  Noelle had even prayed for Haley to not be so nervous about her appointment with her new oncologist, Dr. Brady, and the meeting had gone better than expected. Admonishing Haley again about using the ovarian cancer survival rates to predict her personal chance of surviving, he said, “There are too many different factors to consider. You’re young and healthy, and that alone puts you outside the curve. I want to see you next week when I have the lab results back.”

  And then came the kicker... Dr. Brady prayed with her before she left. That’s when Haley finally realized Jesus was right there, holding her hand in the middle of the storm. And with that confidence, she managed to shove her worries to the back of her mind and remember her blessings instead.

  Since Bo seemed determined never to set foot in the snow, Haley finally gave up her quest of getting him to “go potty” outside and went in the house to get dressed in her last minute purchase. She’d been resigned to wear something she already owned, despite having lost enough weight to make her clothes hang like sacks. But a lunchtime trip to the department store had yielded a spectacular find—a beautiful cobalt blue dress with illusion lace cutouts across the shoulders and down the sleeves. The fit was snug, but the material had enough texture to camouflage her bonier areas. She loved the way the blue complemented her red hair, and best of all, the dress was on sale.

  Haley admired her Christmas tree before unplugging the lights. She’d spent the last weekend hanging all of Gammy’s antique glass ornaments, and though it was a rather spindly artificial tree, it looked lovely with the twinkling lights and decorations and brought back cherished memories of holidays at Gammy’s house.

  “You stay in the kitchen,” she warned Bo, giving him an extra half cup of food to assuage her guilt for leaving him alone. She’d long ago stopped trusting the mischievous hound, so she made sure her bedroom door was securely shut and no shoes were available for use as chew toys.

  The Holiday mansion was even more beautiful than she remembered—a sprawling two-story house with four humongous columns out front, and Christmas lights on every roof edge and peak. Pulling through the circular drive under the portico, she left her keys with the valet, who tapped his foot while she changed from boots into her high heels and slipped inside, only having to brave the cold for a few short seconds. The interior of the home looked like the movie set to Gone with the Wind, a huge winding stairway to the left and a grand ballroom straight ahead. During her summer visits, Haley had spent most of her time in the family kitchen and den area, but tonight the formal areas were lit up and decorated to the hilt, and the crowd was busy dancing to a waltz or milling around the hor d’oeuvres.

  “Haley, you look lovely this evening,” Mr. Holiday greeted her. “I’m glad you made it before the storm hit.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Holiday.”

  He took her cold hands between his large warm ones. “You can call me Gerard when we’re not at work. After all, that’s what you called me when we first met, back when you were dating Gavin.”

  “Oh, I couldn’t, Mr. Holiday. You’re my boss now.”

  “Ha! Fine, then. Make me feel even older than I am.” His smile let her know he was teasing.

  She chuckled, shrugging out of her coat and handing it off to someone dressed in a tuxedo. You may have several hundred people spending the night here.”

  “It’s possible.” He gestured toward the grand staircase. “We might be a little crowded, but we’d find some way to accommodate. But they say it’ll probably only be a few inches anyway. It ’ll be over by the time everyone leaves.”

  “Do you know where Noelle is?” Haley craned her neck, standing on her toes in an attempt to see over the crowd. She couldn’t wait to tell Noelle all about her doctor’s appointment, though she would have to get her away from any listening ears, which might be quite a feat under the circumstances.

  “I saw her earlier, but then she disappeared. Gavin’s been asking for you, though. I think he was worried because you were so late.”

  As much as she was dying to see Gavin in a tuxedo, the thought gave her stomach butterflies, even though they had worked together earlier in the day. It’s probably because the Lord is convicting me about telling him the truth. I’m not looking forward to it. Maybe I’ll wait until next week.

  “Haley! There you are!” Gavin’s sister Lisa appeared, and caught her by the elbow, moving her along with amazing strength for such a petite person. “Come on. We need to get you some food. Dinner is still an hour away. As you know, these affairs last forever.”

  “Actually, it’s my first one.”

  “Well, you’re in for a treat. Dad spares no expense at this shindig. And I should warn you...” Lisa stopped, pointing overhead. “Always look up, because there’s mistletoe all over the place.”

  Haley glanced above her head, and sure enough, hanging from the archway was a huge branch of mistletoe decorated with red ribbons. Spotting Gavin marching toward her with a determined expression, she practically knocked Lisa down to get out of the archway.

  “I’m starving. Where’s that food you were talking about?”

  Gavin caught up with her by the time she reached the hor d’oeuvres.

  “Haley...” His gaze traveled slowly from the top of her head to tips of her three-inch high heels. “You look beautiful.” He said the word with such reverence, she almost expected him to drop to one knee like a knight and call her a fair maiden.

  “Thank you.” She chewed her lip, but her tongue was tied. She tried to think of something clever to say, but came up blank.

  “Stop looking at her like that, Gavin!” Lisa punched his arm. “The food is over here on the table.”

  “Ow!” He rubbed his arm as if she’d caused him great pain and retorted, “Nothing here is as delicious as Haley.”

  “I’ll have you know I planned the entire menu, and there are tons of tasty morsels here that should keep you from further embarrassing your friend.”

  Lisa placed an obvious emphasis on the last word, and a strange look passed between the two siblings.

  “Eh-hem.” Gavin cleared his throat, and when he turned back to her, his expression was impassive. “Haley, can I get you something to drink?”

  GAVIN DIDN’T APPRECIATE Lisa’s subtle reminder of their earlier discussion. Now he wished he hadn’t confessed everything to his sister, though at the time it felt good to get it off his chest. The fact remained he loved Haley, and she didn’t return the feeling. She’d made it perfectly clear she only wanted to be friends. But Gavin was finding it increasingly hard to be a friend to Haley, especially knowing she might already be utilizing an online dating service. Not only did he hate the idea because it was dangerous, but also because it felt like a slap in the face.

  And seeing her tonight, looking achingly beautiful in the shiny blue dress with her gleaming red hair pinned up, a few curly tendrils escaping to grace the cre
amy skin on her neck, an intense desire hit him to go caveman, yelling and brandishing his club at any guy who passed within striking distance.

  Instead, he led her to a table in a secluded alcove. But he kept his club handy in case of emergency. After all, Dax and Brent were here somewhere.

  Haley took a hearty bite of an eggroll. “Yum! This food is so good.”

  “I hope it doesn’t make you uncomfortable for me to say this, but I’m glad to see you eating.”

  “There aren’t many people who could say that without offending me, but you’re one of them.”

  Encouraged, he probed a bit more.

  “Are you feeling better? You look... I don’t know... different tonight.”

  “Yeah, that’s called makeup.” She giggled.

  “Well, if you’re up to it, we should go skiing next weekend. The resorts are supposed to get dumped on next week.”

  She hesitated, and he wondered if skiing was off-limits for friends. Or maybe she thinks we’re spending too much time together.

  “Can I let you know on Thursday night? I can’t really make plans until after that.”

  “Why not? What happens Thursday?”

  Haley’s smile was gone, replaced by a serious you’re-not-going-to-like-what-I-have-to-say expression. Her hand moved across the narrow table to rest on top of his.

  “Gavin, I need to tell you something.”

  I don’t know what this is, but it isn’t good. Closing his eyes, he gulped his water down, steeling his nerves for the worst. “Okay, I’m ready.”

  “Excuse me, Mr. Holiday.”

  Gavin jumped at the voice behind his shoulder and turned, spying a very agitated server shifting from foot to foot as if the floor was hot.

  “What do you need?” he asked.