Haley's Hangdog Holiday Page 14

  “It’s kind of lonely having Thanksgiving without Tad or your father,” her mom commented. “But then again, I’m lonely most of the time.”

  “Have you ever thought of going with Dad when he travels all over the world? It seems like that could be really fun.”

  “Oh, I could never do that. I’m breaking out in hives just thinking about it.”

  Haley chuckled. “Okay Mom, but I think you should consider it.”

  Her mom chewed in silence while Haley tried to work up the courage to take another bite of food. She forked a piece of chicken and sniffed it, wondering if she could possibly chew it while holding her nose.

  Checking to be certain her mother wasn’t looking, Haley transferred the chicken to her fingers and stuck her hand under the table. The chicken was gone in an instant, a soft tongue lapping any residual juice from her hand. Haley reached for a squirt of the hand sanitizer she kept on the table, chuckling to herself. Bo had finally become useful.

  “Haley... I hate to mention this...”

  Not as much as I hate hearing it! Gee—even my thoughts are sarcastic.

  “What is it this time, Mom?” Haley asked, scooping another forkful of sweet potatoes.

  “Is it possible you’re losing weight because the cancer has come back?”

  Haley froze in the midst of a bite, her insides filling with wet concrete. Her breath came in tiny pants, as the room narrowed. Setting her fork down, she clutched at the table for balance.

  “It can’t be... I... I had a blood test in August, and the numbers were good.” Why hadn’t she recognized the possibility the nausea might be from recurrent cancer? Gastro-intestinal issues were a possible cancer symptom, but she’d assumed her problem was related to anxiety or bulimia.

  Don’t get ahead of yourself. It may be nothing.

  “I know, dear. But you don’t look well to me. Your skin seems so sallow. Maybe it’s because you’re wearing your hair long again—it makes your face look so thin. Have you thought of cutting it in one of those cute bobs that are so in style now? The ones that are shorter in the back and longer in the front? You’d look so nice with your hair cut like that.”

  “No, I haven’t,” Haley mumbled as her mother rambled on about visiting a spa or some such nonsense. But there was only room for one all-encompassing thought in Haley’s mind...

  What if the cancer is back?

  “WHAT’S WRONG, GAVIN?” Lisa demanded, pointing an accusatory fork his direction. “You don’t like my cooking?”

  Startled as he was about to nod off at the table, Gavin looked down, surprised to find his food was hardly touched. He stabbed a piece of dark turkey meat.

  “Sorry, Sis. You know I love your Thanksgiving dinners. I’m just a little tired.”

  “You’ve been working too many hours,” Reece said. “I told your dad we need to do something about it.”

  “I’m handling things,” Gavin protested, shoving the huge bite into his mouth and chewing with vehemence. Tired didn’t begin to describe how he felt. He was also frustrated and anxious. Only one week with Haley in the office, and he’d already had to run interference for her on three different occasions. It seemed the single men on his team had different views from him on what did or didn’t constitute sexual harassment. Yet they were the only team members who’d offered to help with her training. It was almost as if his team was conspiring against him.

  His father nodded. “I agree with Reece. You’ve got too much on your plate as it is. I’m thinking we should follow your original advice and move Haley Martin to a different division.”

  “No!” Gavin put his glass down on the table with a bit too much force. “Haley’s doing well in Division VIII. Of course she needs a bit more direction than the rest of my team, but that would be true no matter what division she was in.”

  “Yes, but your other team members ought to step up to the plate and help Haley out,” Reece argued. “There’s no reason for you to train her on every aspect of her position. That falls to someone lower on the totem pole.” He turned to Noelle. “Can you pass the sweet potato casserole, please?”

  “You do look a bit tired, Gavin,” Noelle commented as she handed the casserole dish to Reece.

  “Work isn’t the real issue,” Gavin said. “I’m not sleeping well.”

  “Oh, I’ve got the perfect essential oil for that,” Lisa declared, bouncing with excitement as she always did when talking about her passion for the smelly oils. “Lavender! Put some on your pillow case. It works like a charm.”

  “No thanks, Lisa. I don’t really like the way that stuff smells.”

  The truth was, smelling those oils would make him think about women, which would remind him that he didn’t have one—not something he felt would help him sleep at night. He was already tossing and turning in bed, trying to get his mind off of Haley.

  “I don’t know how you get any sleep, the way Daisy snores,” Reece remarked. “That dog is so loud we couldn’t hear the sports announcer during the football game. Do all Basset Hounds snore like that?”

  With his mouth full of stuffing, Gavin could only shrug.

  “I know Abby snores all the time,” said Noelle’s husband David, referring to their golden retriever. “I think it’s a sign of contentment.”

  “Or swollen tonsils.” Noelle snagged a yeast roll. “Lisa, you’ve outdone yourself. This was the best Thanksgiving meal ever. How did you manage it with a baby?”

  Lisa glowed under the praise. “I don’t know—it’s just my thing. But I appreciate you and David chipping in this year. It was great not to be responsible for the desserts. I can’t wait to taste that pumpkin cheesecake with the gingersnap crust.”

  “I think next year, we should be real men and deep fry a turkey,” Reece proclaimed.

  “Deep frying a turkey sounds like a great way to end up at the emergency room to me.” Lisa poked him in the ribs. “Remember last year, the neighbors caught their house on fire?”

  “I’m not afraid,” he retorted. “I’m so tough I’ve got a grizzly bear carpet in my room. It’s not dead—it’s just afraid to move.”

  “Ha!” Lisa countered. “I’m so tough, when I slice onions, the onions cry.”

  Noelle groaned, but jumped in with one of her own. “I’m so tough, when I cross the street, the cars look both ways.”

  “You guys are killing me,” Gavin complained. “I hope I don’t tell corny jokes like that when I’m old, like you are.”

  “Oh ho!” Noelle laughed, throwing a roll at him. “Keep it up and you won’t live to be my age.”

  “HAPPY THANKSGIVING, from Peru!”

  “Happy Thanksgiving to you, too. It’s so good to hear your voice.” Haley tried not to sound whiney, but she really missed her brother, and Bojangles was not an acceptable substitute.

  “Okay, what’s wrong? I can hear it in your voice. Did Bo eat a piece of jewelry again? Or run away again? Or pee inside the car?”

  Haley giggled. “No, no, and he’d better not pee inside my car!”

  “Whew—what a relief! So what’s up, then?”

  “I’m scared, Tad.”

  “Scared of what? Isn’t Bo a pretty good watchdog at night?”

  “I’m afraid... the cancer might be back.” The word tasted bad on her lips.

  “It can’t be back already, can it? It’s only been in remission for like a year and a half, right?”

  “Actually, it can come back any time. I’m kind of an anomaly, since ovarian cancer is most common in older women, but I think I’ve got something like a 50 percent chance of recurrence.”

  The phone was silent for so long, she thought she’d lost the connection.

  “Tad?”

  “Sorry, Haley. I’m kind of... shocked, I guess. I thought... you know, since you had surgery and chemo... I thought it was pretty much over.”

  “I wish it was. Now do you understand why I didn’t tell Gavin?”

  “I never said I didn’t understand—I told you it wa
s wrong.”

  “Let’s not get into it...I can’t change anything now. It’s just that I’m here alone with Mom.” Haley checked over her shoulder to be sure her mother was still watching television in the other room. “I’m worried, but I don’t dare talk to her about it. She’ll have me on the plane to the cancer treatment center before we get the Thanksgiving dishes washed and put away.”

  “That’s true, but maybe that’s what needs to happen.”

  She felt tears rising in her eyes. “Tad, I don’t know if I can handle it all over again.”

  “Don’t talk like that, Haley. You’ll do whatever you have to do. Only next time—if there is a next time—you need more support than just Mom. I’m still angry that she didn’t even let you tell me about it until it was all over.”

  “Don’t worry, I won’t make that mistake again.”

  “Did you call your friends from your church in Austin?”

  “I tried, but no one answered. They’re probably with their families.”

  “Haley, I’ve gotta go, but I’m sending you a big phone hug, okay? I love you.”

  “You, too.”

  With her throat so tight she couldn’t swallow, Haley closed her eyes, imagining someone was giving her a real, in-person hug. She tried to make that person be anyone besides Gavin. She tried, but she failed.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Gavin made an early exit from the family Thanksgiving festivities, armed with enough leftovers to last for a month. It was a gorgeous day, unseasonably warm, and a hike at Red Rocks Canyon was just the ticket to clear his head. As he tucked a few essentials into a backpack, the thought occurred that Haley might want to join him with Bo.

  By all accounts, she’d had limited success getting Bo to behave on a leash, and Gavin knew Daisy’s presence would likely result in better behavior. So he was willing to sacrifice his precious time alone with nature in order to help her out.

  Or... I’m a sucker for punishment who will use any excuse to spend time with Haley.

  He called her cell number, and she picked up on the first ring.

  “Gavin?” Her voice sounded hoarse, like she’d been sleeping. Perhaps he’d woken her from a nap.

  “Uhmm.... Sorry to bother you on a holiday, Haley. I was headed up to Red Rocks for a hike with Daisy and... I thought maybe... you might want to come and bring Bo.”

  Cripes! I’m sweating like a high school kid asking a girl to the prom.

  “Just a hike?”

  He heard the hesitancy in her voice. She probably thought he was asking her on a date.

  “Just a hike. You know, two friends hiking with their dogs.”

  “Friends,” she repeated, sniffing.

  “Are you sick?”

  “No, I... have some allergies, I guess.”

  “I understand. You don’t have to go.”

  “No, I want to go.”

  “You do?”

  “Just friends, right?”

  Gavin had a sour taste in his mouth as he confirmed his answer once more time.

  “Just friends.”

  “THANKS FOR INVITING me to come... I really needed this.”

  After hiking the Trading Post Trail, Gavin had suggested climbing the three hundred eighty steps to the top of the amphitheater, and Haley had readily accepted. Now, sitting on the top row, with two exhausted Basset Hounds sprawled at their feet, they enjoyed the view with the last of the sun’s rays. And the vigorous exercise had served its purpose, helping her forget the worry looming over her.

  “I always feel so peaceful up here,” Gavin said, leaning back on his elbows. “I feel like God created all this beauty just for me. Even in the winter, when the plants die, it’s still beautiful. And you can count on spring to come with all the flowers blooming, and some of the prettiest ones grow right out of the middle of a rock. It lets you know God can make something beautiful come out of the toughest circumstances.”

  A knot formed in Haley’s stomach, and she squeezed her eyes shut, knowing she was on the verge of falling apart.

  “Haley? Are you okay?” Gavin sounded so concerned it broke her heart.

  She nodded, trying to slow her breathing. It was too much. She wasn’t ready to think about the future. She wasn’t ready to trust God no matter what happened. The only good thing about the possibility that the cancer had returned was that she no longer debated telling Gavin the truth. What would be the purpose now? To use him as an emotional crutch, knowing her life expectancy was minimal? No... now more than ever, she knew she’d made the right decision when she shielded him from the truth.

  She tightened her fists until her fingernails bit into the palms of her hands, using the pain to focus. It was a trick she’d employed when she was fighting the nausea from the chemotherapy, and it worked to calm her nerves.

  “Sorry.” She blinked her eyes rapidly to keep tears from spilling out. “There’s a lot of stuff going on in my life. I’m a little stressed.”

  “Can I do anything to help?”

  “This...” She swept her hand in front of her, indicating the view. “This helps. A lot.” As they fell quiet, she heard a raucous noise from the ground at her feet. “Good grief! Is that Daisy snoring?”

  Gavin laughed. “Yeah, she’s pretty loud, especially when she’s tired. I’ve kind of gotten used to it.”

  The sound echoed down the amphitheater steps, and Haley giggled.

  Gavin sat forward, his elbows on his knees. “Do you ever think about that time we were up here three years ago?” He paused, chewing on his lip, his eyes averted. “About our first kiss?”

  Alarms went off in her head. What am I going to say? I need to stop this before it gets sticky.

  “I guess... maybe...”

  “Can I ask you a question, Haley?”

  “I’m not promising I’ll answer,” she said warily.

  “I only want to know one thing... Was it real for you? Any of it? Did you feel anything for me at all? Or did you fake the whole relationship?”

  She winced at his bitter tone, but she deserved it.

  “Gavin, I promised myself I wouldn’t lie to you. And I also promised myself I wouldn’t ever hurt you again. I don’t know how I can answer your questions and keep both of those promises.”

  “If you ever cared for me... if you have any respect for me at all... you’ll answer the question. I’m a grown man. It hurts, no matter what. I’d rather be hurt by the truth.”

  “Fine! You want the truth? Here it is...” Rising to her feet, she jerked Bo awake with the leash. “It was real, okay? All of it!”

  She stomped down the steps, using her anger to keep her tears at bay. But she wasn’t getting away so easy. Gavin was hot on her heels.

  “Then why? Why did you break up? Why throw it away? Was it your mother? Did she tell you to break up with me? Are you letting her control your life?”

  “It’s none of your business! It was my decision!” Another couple scurried out of their path, wide-eyed at their very vocal disagreement.

  “It wasn’t your decision to make!” he shouted. “You can’t make a unilateral decision about our lives!”

  She stopped, turning to glare at him, her fisted hands at her sides. “Who says I can’t? Huh?” Feeding on her fury, she didn’t care that every soul in the amphitheater had stopped to observe—that their voices carried across the entire stadium in the perfect acoustics.

  With dark rage shining from his coal black eyes, he stepped down to her level. His hand came up and snaked behind her neck, pulling her face to his.

  A fog swirled inside her mind as her breath caught in her throat. He’s going to kiss me!

  But he stopped, with his lips only millimeters away—so close she could feel their heat—teasing... taunting... making her beg...

  No. I have my pride. I can resist. But I don’t want to resist. Please, kiss me.

  She closed the gap, hungry for him, wanting to sample his lips again.

  Then his mouth was on hers—possessing h
er, staking a claim. She didn’t care. Her lips belonged to him, as did her heart, ruined for anyone else. No other could satisfy. She answered him with an equally hungry kiss, forgetting everything but the moment. Still holding the leash, her free hand slid up to his chest, resting on the hard planes once so familiar to her fingertips.

  Their lips danced together, as her pulse sped to a perilous pace, and she wondered if she were having a heart attack. The moan that emerged from her throat was answered by a low growl from his. Lost in the moment, she clung to him, savoring his taste, leaning into him, seeking the warmth and safety of his arms.

  Until a deafening bark brought her back to reality.

  “Hush Daisy!” Gavin scolded.

  With a gasp, Haley pulled away, hiding her face behind her hand. But Gavin’s expression was anything but embarrassed as he sported an unapologetically smug smile, disregarding the stares and whoops of laughter from their audience.

  AWKWARD DIDN’T BEGIN to describe the ride home from Red Rocks Park. Gavin made a few ineffective attempts at small talk, even using her brother as a commonality. But Haley said nothing. Not a single word. Perhaps she couldn’t speak because she was so busy chewing her fingernails. He gave up and let silence reign for the rest of the short drive.

  Arriving at Gammy’s house, Haley hopped out of the car before he’d even put the car in park. He dashed around the car, grabbing her wrist as she attempted to retrieve Bo from the back seat.

  “Haley, we need to talk about this.”

  “There’s nothing to talk about. Because that...” She pointed up toward Red Rocks. “Will never happen again.”

  “Why, Haley? Why are you denying this thing between us? It wasn’t just me kissing you—you kissed me back. Why can’t you admit we still love each other? I know you felt it, too. Nothing has changed. We even planned our children together. Have you forgotten?”