Haley's Hangdog Holiday Page 8
“You’ve got to be kidding me—a Basset Hound?”
“Isn’t she adorable? Her owner couldn’t keep her because the neighbors complained about her baying. Can you believe that?”
“Uhmm... yes, I can. She’s killing my ears. Is Bojangles going to be that loud when he grows up? Or is Daisy a little louder than the average Basset?”
Gavin looked up, grinning. “Nope, this is pretty normal for a Basset. I’m sure Bojangles will be just as expressive as Daisy.”
Fetching a leash, Gavin opened Daisy’s kennel and attached it to the collar. To Haley’s surprise, he handed her Daisy’s leash and hooked up a second leash to a medium-sized neighboring dog, Ethel, whom he described as a Heinz 57 breed.
“You’ve got your running shoes on already,” he said as they moved down the hallway to the exit door, leading to an outdoor area the size of a park. “We can take these two on a jog—they need the exercise.”
After a short bathroom break, the dogs were eager to go, and trotted readily alongside Gavin and Haley, their tongues lolling from their mouths.
“So this is what you do over here? You run with dogs?”
He cocked his shoulders up. “I run with the ones who can run. I walk the old ones and play with the puppies. Whatever they need.”
Jogging along in companionable silence, Haley realized her stress level had already gone down. When the trail circled back, they stopped to drink water from a double fountain—a high level for people and a lower level for pets. As Haley propped herself beside Gavin on the nearby bench, the dogs sat panting at their feet, soaking up the sun and begging for a bit of petting. Daisy flopped over on her back, giving Haley full access to rub her belly.
Haley chuckled when her tummy-scratching elicited groans of pleasure from the ecstatic dog. “Okay, I have to admit, Daisy’s pretty cute. She makes funny noises.”
“If you want to hear something funny, you should sing to her.”
“You want me to sing to a dog?”
“Why not? I like to hear you sing, anyway.”
“What should I sing?” Haley checked to be sure Gavin wasn’t making a secret video to embarrass her on social media.
“Do you know She’ll Be Coming Round the Mountain? Daisy really likes that one.”
With a glance over her shoulder to ensure they didn’t have company, Haley started singing. Daisy lifted her head, flipping back to her feet, wagging her tail, her droopy eyes fixed on Haley. By the second “she’ll be coming round the mountain,” Daisy was singing along, though it sounded a bit like she was in a great deal of pain. Haley continued singing with Daisy’s howling harmony and Gavin laughing in the background.
He clapped when the song was done, yelling, “Encore!”
Daisy sat down at Haley’s feet, seemingly waiting for the next song, so Haley sang another one—Take Me Out to the Ball Game, with Daisy echoing each phrase with a bark, as if they’d rehearsed it. “One... two... three strikes you’re out at the old... ball... game.” The hound let out a long woeful bay.
She laughed, rubbing Daisy’s floppy ears, and Gavin winked at her. “I hate to jinx anything, but... you do realize you’re having a good time, right?”
“Maybe.” It was all she was willing to admit, not wanting to give him any future ammunition for discussions about dogs and why she should love them.
“Did you know that petting a dog helps lower your blood pressure and reduce stress?”
“You’re teasing, right?”
“Nope. Google it for yourself. Studies show petting a dog lowers your levels of stress hormones and makes your body release serotonin, prolactin, and oxytocin, which are all feel-good hormones.”
“I guess I believe you,” Haley said, giving Daisy an extra pat on the head.
“Do you want to tell me what happened with your mom on the phone?”
“No, I want to pretend I don’t have a mom.”
Too late, Haley realized her mistake, as Gavin’s nostrils flared and he looked away. “I’m sorry Gavin, that was a thoughtless thing to say, knowing you had to grow up without your mother. I know I’m blessed to have her. And I know she’s good to me. I just need to learn how to keep her from getting to me.”
With downcast eyes, he nodded. “I wish you could be like me. I think she’s funny, and I ignore her when she tries to control me.”
“But with me, she uses emotional manipulation. She knows how to push my buttons. I don’t think you have any buttons.”
“That’s not true. I have one.”
“What is it?” Having never seen Gavin lose his temper, Haley loaded a ton of skepticism into her question.
“I’ve got a belly button.”
“I’m trying to be serious. You are so not funny.”
“I must be funny... I made you smile.”
“I’m not smiling—this is how I look when I’m mad.”
“Then you look beautiful when you’re mad.”
“Stop it! I’m trying to stay mad. You always do this.”
“What?”
“You distract me when I’m trying to be mad, and I forget why I was mad.”
“Why were you mad?”
“I don’t know—you made me forget.”
He scooted closer on the bench, reaching over to hold her hand. “Does that mean you’re not mad now?”
“Now I’m mad because you made me forget why I’m mad.”
He doesn’t look the least bit repentant with that smug grin.
Then smug morphed into an annoyingly serious. “Haley, have you been going to the counselor?”
“You know I haven’t had time. Anyway, I’ve got everything under control.”
“I know you do. That’s the problem. I’m worried what will happen when something happens you can’t control.”
“You’re not supposed to worry.” She tilted her head, resting it against his shoulder, giggling as Daisy began to snore.
“That smart mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble some day.”
“You’re just jealous because my mouth is smarter than yours.”
“No, I’m ravenous, because your mouth is softer than mine.”
His hand turned her face toward him, and he pressed his lips to hers in a gentle kiss. As she lifted her chin, he trailed his mouth down under her jaw, pressing his mouth against her neck where her blood pulsed. A moan escaped her lips, and she felt him smile against her skin.
“It’s a good thing Daisy snores so loud. Someone might have heard you.”
His arm wrapped around her and she nestled against him, contented. “You know Gavin, you were right. I needed this... to feel some unconditional love. I guess dogs are good at that.”
“Yeah, dogs are good at that... But you know what?”
“What?”
“Daisy doesn’t love you like I do.”
“She doesn’t?” Haley asked, with a tremor in her voice.
“No, Daisy loves anybody who takes her for a walk, rubs her ears, or gives her a treat.” Gavin kissed the top of Haley’s head. “But I just love you. Period.”
ONLY SILENCE FOLLOWED his words. Gavin felt a cold rock in the pit of his stomach.
She doesn’t love me back. I’m such an idiot. I thought I knew how she felt.
He heard a sniff. She turned her face to look at him, her crystal blue eyes shining with unshed tears and a wobbly smile on her face. “You, too.”
His heart started prancing in circles like an excited dog, but he couldn’t help teasing her. “U-2? You’re talking about submarines at a time like this?”
“Huh?”
“You said U-2. That’s a German submarine.”
“No, I meant... You said you loved me and I said ‘You, too.’”
“The smartest mouth around, and the best you can say is ‘You, too?’”
She laughed, rolling her eyes. “Fine. How’s this? I love you, Gavin Holiday, and I’ve been waiting for you to tell me for a long time. I was worried you would never say it.”
“So that means God designed the course and used you to teach me, right?”
“I guess so.” He shook his head, wondering where she was going with her line of reasoning.
“Do you think He’s okay with a student falling in love with her professor?”
“I’m willing to take the risk,” he said. “Are you?”
She lifted her chin, offering those kissable lips to him, and whispered, “Anything to get an A in the class.”
Chapter Ten
September—five months later
“I’m so excited, Gavin. Be sure to text me as soon as she says yes. And send pictures, too,” Lisa said.
“I will... if she says yes.”
His mouth felt like cotton, just from talking to his sister on the cell phone about it. How was he ever going to get the nerve to actually pop the question?
“What do you mean, if? Of course she’s going to say yes.”
“I don’t know. What if I misread her? What if she isn’t ready?”
“Gavin, don’t be ridiculous. I heard the two of you talking on the porch this summer, discussing how many kids you wanted to have—four, if I remember correctly. That doesn’t sound like a girl who plans to turn you down when you ask her to marry you.”
“I hope you’re right.” His hands shook as he pulled the small velvet jewelry case from his back pocket and opened it for the umpteenth time, staring critically at the sparkling ring. “What if she doesn’t like the engagement ring?”
“Gavin...” Lisa used her we’ve-been-through-this-before tone. “Why did you have me take her to the mall and casually drop by the jewelry store, if you weren’t going to trust me to find out what she likes? She was absolutely drooling over those engagement rings with diamonds in the center and little sapphires around them. And she loved the white gold. You picked the perfect ring.”
“Yeah, I know you’re right.” He took a deep breath, willing his heart to slow down, and slipped the case into his back pocket.
“Do you have everything else ready? And does she know you guys are supposed to go out tonight when she gets back to Austin? Knowing Haley, if you haven’t already booked a date with her, she’ll decide to go on a quick ten-mile run or to the gym and swim for a couple of hours.”
“Ha! No, she knows not to make any other plans tonight. I haven’t seen her for three weeks, and I’ve been complaining about it. So she promised me I would have her sole attention when she gets here.” A wave of apprehension swept over him, leaving him with a sick feeling in his gut. “But Lisa, I know something’s wrong.”
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t explain it. Something’s different with her since she’s been back in Houston with her mom and dad. Everything was normal the first week, and then Dawn—her mom—texted me and told me Haley was in the emergency room. I was ready to hop in the car and drive down there, but Dawn told me it wasn’t a good time to come.”
“What happened to her?”
“Dawn said she had a cyst removed off her ovary, which sounds like a major surgery to me. But when I finally talked to Haley, she acted kind of embarrassed about the whole thing and begged me to stay in Austin. So I didn’t go, but now I think I should’ve just gone with my gut instinct.”
“Why wouldn’t she want you to be there?”
“It’s hard to explain. Dawn is very controlling, and I think she wanted to take care of Haley by herself.
“I don’t know, Gavin.” Lisa’s hesitancy made the dread grow in his stomach. “How did Haley act after that? Did you talk to her every day?”
“I probably talked to her three or four times a day, and we texted all the time. But when I asked about her health, she totally avoided the question. I mean, I know she had the procedure done and was home after a day. She told me it hurt pretty bad and she was on pain meds, so she didn’t want visitors, anyway. She was kind of loopy-sounding the first few days.”
“But you guys talked about going out together when she comes back tonight?”
“We talked about it every day. It’s just... I don’t know... she started sounding less enthusiastic about coming back to Austin. Usually, she can’t wait to get away from her mom and dad’s house because Dawn drives her crazy.”
“Maybe it’s a good thing, Gavin. Maybe God used this to help heal her relationship with her mom. With her mom taking care of her, she might’ve learned to appreciate how much she cares about her.”
“But that’s my place now,” he objected, beginning to resent Dawn as much as Haley had in the past.
“It’s not your place yet,” Lisa corrected. “You’re not even officially engaged.”
“Well, we will be after tonight.” He clenched his jaw so hard, his teeth squeaked against each other.
“That’s right... you will be after tonight. I’m sure everything will go great.”
Gavin prayed Lisa’s words were true.
“I DON’T KNOW, MOM. I feel terrible doing it this way. I don’t want to hurt him, and an email is so impersonal.” Haley felt tears stinging her eyes, amazed that she had any left after what seemed like weeks of non-stop crying. She supposed the IV in her arm provided the needed fluid. The steady beep of the machines in the background mocked her. She didn’t even feel human anymore.
She reread the email, checking every word to be certain she wouldn’t leave Gavin hanging with unfounded hope. Finally, she added a short postscript at the end.
“If you talk to him on the phone, you know you’ll break down and tell him everything. I don’t think you have any choice.” Haley’s mother smoothed her hair back off her face.
“Are you sure I’m doing the right thing? I feel so guilty, lying to Gavin about what happened.”
“I know, Sweetie. But you’re only protecting him. We’ve talked about this. It’s better to cut things off before it goes any further.”
“But maybe I should be honest with him,” Haley moaned, as misery overwhelmed her again and a flood of tears poured out.
“You’re crying! Is it hurting again?” Her mom went into her panicky mother-hen mode. “Can’t you click the button and get more morphine in the IV? Should I call the nurse?”
“Not yet, Mom. It’s only been ten minutes. Don’t worry, I’m okay.” Haley squeezed her mom’s hand to calm her down.
She had seen a whole new side to her mom. Since the fateful night Haley went to the emergency room in severe pain and discovered she had a cyst on her ovary, Dawn hadn’t left her side. Even now, with dark circles and red eyes from lack of sleep, she stayed with her—caring for her with a completely selfless attitude and sacrificing everything to give her the emotional support she needed.
“But Mom... I’ve been thinking... He might not care whether or not I can have kids. Maybe he would still want to get married. I mean, we could always adopt.” Haley swiped at her wet face with the back of her hand.
“Honey, Gavin is a sweet guy. I’m sure he wouldn’t drop you just because you lost your ovaries to cancer. But what if years later he started to resent you because you couldn’t have kids?”
“I know, you’re right. But I’m afraid I’ll never find anyone else who will want me, now. I know it’s selfish, but I don’t want to give up Gavin. He already loves me.”
“If you love Gavin, you’ll want what’s best for him.” Dawn used a tissue to blot Haley’s face. “You’ll find someone else, Haley.”
“But I feel like my life is over. I’m losing everything—my boyfriend, my education, my hair... my whole life!”
“No, no,” Dawn soothed. “Your life isn’t over, Haley—you’re an amazing girl. I’m so proud of you and how brave you’ve been. You barely even cried when they told you it was ovarian cancer and your ovaries would have to be removed. You were the one comforting me on the ride home from the oncologist’s office.”
“That wasn’
t bravery, Mom—that was shock.”
“Still, you have to remember you have your whole life ahead of you. You’re only going to take a year off while you go through chemotherapy. By next August, when you go back to school, your hair will be growing back. Everything will be fine—you’ll see. And meanwhile, I’ll be right here taking care of you every step of the way. It will be just like old times.”
“Okay.” Haley felt her thoughts waging war, as they had for the past two weeks. “Mom, can I tell you something?”
“Sure, baby. Tell me anything.”
“Sometimes, I hate God for doing this to me.” Saying the words out loud made her feel like someone threw a heavy blanket of guilt on top of her, but God knew she’d been thinking them, anyway.
“Haley, I’ll be honest with you.” Dawn folded both of Haley’s hands inside her own. “I’ve always thought you put too much faith in religion. You shouldn’t expect the God of the universe to be personally involved in all aspects of every person’s life. In my opinion, God gives you all the tools you need to take care of yourself. I think He wants you to do the best you can with the hand you’re dealt. You’re a good person, Haley. That’s all anyone can ask of you.”
Haley swallowed another sob. Even with her mother standing beside her holding her hands, she’d never felt so alone.
“Press the send button, Mom. I can’t do it.”
Chapter Eleven
Christmas Break—four months later
“Please, Tad, you have to help me.” Gavin was crying, and he didn’t bother trying to hide it from Haley’s brother. It had taken a lot of detective work, tracking down Tad’s Colorado University friend, Nate, on Facebook to finally snag Tad’s cell number. Even then, Tad hadn’t answered until Gavin got the bright idea of calling from Noelle’s phone.